5 Days and Counting

A word on pregnancy…

My pregnancy has been really pleasant so far. I have 5 days left before my due date and I still cannot complain. My toes and fingers do not look like sausages, my nose has not doubled in size, and I don’t have that miserable “get it out of me” feeling. I dare say, I can understand why some women choose to have more than one child.

On this evening, 5 days before Davis is scheduled to come, I am feeling emotionally raw. It is occurring to me now more than ever that our lives are really going to change and we have no way of being prepared for it. I sit and think about how this could be mine and Tracy’s last evening of solitude together. How, in the very near future, our lives will revolve around a little person who weighs less than the teacher bag full of books I lug up and down the stairs each day. I feel like our time together is slipping away and I cannot stop it from happening. I know things will never be the same.

Everyone says that when the baby comes, you will truly know love. I cannot fathom it. If I can love someone more than I love Tracy, then that is going to be very difficult. There have been many evenings when I have worried about Tracy getting home safely. I have even refrained from asking him to go to the grocery store out of fear that something could happen between our house and Wal-Mart. There have been rare occasions when he has had to board a plane without me. That has reduced me to sitting by the phone waiting for him to call at each layover point. So, if having a baby is going to make me feel a love I haven’t known before, then it just may be too much. I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep at night.

Today I have gotten out of the house so that I could walk and hopefully get gravity on my side. Davis has tossed and turned and rolled and kicked and punched all day long. Tracy has been doing push ups so that he can be physically prepared for Davis when he arrives. I wonder if Davis is doing his exercises, preparing physically for life outside the womb. For the past month or so, I have been worried about the physical aspects that motherhood would bring. But, as the last days of pregnancy wind down, it is the emotional that I’m sure I’m not fully prepared for. So, as Davis and Tracy do their physical workouts each day, I ponder how it is that I can prepare emotionally—pray, write, read, even take walks, it all helps, though I know that once that little person arrives, all my emotional workouts will be for naught, for I know that this new little person will utterly steal my heart.

8 thoughts on “5 Days and Counting”

  1. Your pregnancy has been a lot like mine. Very uneventful except for our bellies getting bigger. I was induced 2 weeks before Dalton’s due date because they thought he was over 9lbs. He ended up at 7lbs 13ozs. You will not get much sleep because you will want to watch him and make sure that he is alright…not cold, not hot, not hungry, make sure he is breathing and just to look at this wonderful baby that you and Tracy have created. I don’t know if anyone can explain the love that you will have. Even when this little person spits up and you have it in you hair and streaming down your chest. Or when he gets bigger and you try to catch throw up with your hand and don’t even thinks about how gross it is. I know you probably don’t get that yet, but you will soon.

    Love you!!

  2. You made me cry, you dork 🙂 We miss you at school. I miss my friend. I’ll be listening for the phone to ring…Come on, Davis.

  3. I am just returning from Ocean City Md and am reading your entry. Michelle, you do not need to teach school——you need to write short stories about your life. It would touch any womans heart and I am sure a man could read it and identify also. You made us all cry, Tracy is a blest man and we are a blest family. you are special and you are love by us all

  4. Just took a look at your journal and the pictures you had taken at the Riverwalk. They are Beautiful!!!!! You look absolutely lovely. Tracy looks good too! I wish you all the best. You will be a wonderful mommy! Let me know when the long awaited day comes.

  5. ok, i think this is the night, or so we all think. I have spoken with Aunt Carol today. Called David and Patty tonight. It’s 8:04 pm. and Halloween will soon be over.
    Come on Michelle, we are waiting on the treat! you have tricked us all day, ha!

    I love you both and have been interceding today for labor to go smoothly and all well!

  6. Hey!! I am about to go CRAZY! I cannot believe that he is almost here and I am still in Savannah! I talked to Obea twice today for updates. Last I heard it wouldn’t be to long…

    I absolutely cannot WAIT to see you guys!!! I am praying for a perfect delivery!!! I love you all!!!

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