Tracy has a Treo – a sort of Palm Pilot and phone all wrapped into one. Before that he had a standard Palm Pilot. Even before all the technology, he had a planner. Tracy has always needed these things to help him make it to appointments or remember to pick up things or remember to call people, etc. I am the complete opposite. I have never been able to effectively use a planner or even a desk calendar. It seems cumbersome. My mind is like a steel trap. I can remember appointments months out, telephone numbers, even what you didn’t eat when you came to my house for dinner two years ago. Well, that was true until this pregnancy thing took over ever aspect of my entire self.
You see, not only does pregnancy change your outer appearance, it changes what’s going on inside as well. I haven’t been cranky or moody or really even teary-eyed, like all the books said I would be. But, boy oh boy, have I felt completely stupid. I can’t remember names of things. For example before writing this entry, I had to go look at Tracy’s phone and see what it is called. I can’t remember appointments. I always used to throw away those little appointment cards that you get at the doctor’s office. Not anymore, I keep them right in my wallet and look at them several times before the appointment. What’s worse is that in the past when I have been around pregnant friends, this aspect of pregnancy has been what I have taunted them about. I have laughed at them and given them the “what in this world are you thinking” look when they have done things that seemed blonde. I guess I should offer them a sincere apology, because now I am in the same boat.
I’ve read that the memory loss is a result of hormonal changes combined with a preoccupation with this baby that’s growing inside me. It also has to be exhaustion I would imagine. It could be that this other brain that I am now growing in my belly is commanding that my brain cells join its army. I don’t know, but I do know in the past couple of weeks in addition to forgetting things, I have also been known to say and do some “duh” sorts of things.
About two weeks ago, while I was getting dressed, Tracy looked at me and said, “You have your underwear on inside out.” Okay, honest mistake. I fixed them. However, the next day when I got to work and went to the restroom, my underwear were on inside out again. What in the world? That hasn’t been the last time it’s happened either. Just last week, while I was sitting down at the lunch table with some fellow teachers, I looked down and saw a tag sticking out of the front of my shirt. Tags go in the back, not the front. Immediately, the ladies at the table said, “Oh, she’s pregnant.” I wonder what it will be this week…two different shoes, missing earring. I just hope I remember to get fully dressed in the mornings.
I totally wasn’t expecting to be like this. I expected to become an emotional mess, but to not be able to get dressed appropriately in the mornings…Maybe I will go buy some tagless shirts and reversible underwear.